Life's a Stitch

The Ham Scam is officially over, having received a full refund from Paypal. I'm happy to say it was a relatively easy process. 

December’s art show was an overall success as well as a personal one. I sold four original paintings and cards made from prints.

Remember this, started years ago, now more than half finished? Can’t fudge that first fact as there’s a photo buried in the blog somewhere. 

Our holiday break was both busy and relaxing as I made space for painting, including two sessions with local artist, Diane Morgan. This one was finished today.

Lots of company made for many blogable adventures. In four days we covered Joshua Tree National Park, Pioneer Town, the Salton Sea, Slab City including its community of East Jesus, Salvation Mountain, an obsidian butte and Bombay Bay. Thanks to Atlas Obscura for sending us to interesting quirky places. More to come. 

 

 

If you do it three times, does that make a tradition? SIL KC was with me for my 400th, 500th and now 600th geocache.

While caching in the desert my junior catcher successfully searched between a dinosaur’s toes.

Then we found a scorpion under a rock.

We were’t actually looking for a cache, instead fulfilling the dream of SIL Sean, who was diligently searching in hopes of seeing one in its natural environment.  

We cooked then feasted. M made homemade pappardelle without the benefit of a mixer, rolling pin or pasta machine, to go with KC’s short rib ragout.

and when there’s pasta in our house, there’s pavlova, as one requires egg yolks while the other the whites.

More creative endeavours included another painting

B performing at open mike night at Pappy and Harriet’s in Pioneer Town

C and M played with gelli pad prints that eventually will become a collage.

There were 19 members of the Wilboe families present in three houses in our snowbird community. There were a variety of levels of accommodation from one house dubbed the Taj Mahal, complete with elegant small swimming pool with seven mini waterfalls and spa…

… to the garage mahal – the tent in a garage with real mattresses, surprisingly comfortable. No picture, use your imagination.

Here's a selection of the participants:

The kids

The adults

The entire group

We were Alberta Proud, that's where all but four of us live.

 

That's an Inflatabull from Canadian Tire

We celebrated

Skoal!

We fished the drone from off of the roof

And I even got in some painting time.

 

 

 

 

 

The Wilboe Family Christmas Reunion produced many memorable photos. This one was meme worthy.

Here’s the back story: the people at the table next to us noticed I was taking a group photo and offered to include me in one. Concurrently they read incoming texts as they appeared on my phone, hence the facial expressions.

 

I’m partial to all things treasure hunting. Geocaching, mushrooming, bargain hunting in liquidation stores where items are returns from the likes of Target, Walmart or Amazon. Daughter M and I went to one last year that had heaps of open box Instant Pots. One whiff was all it took to realize they were after use returns. Think the scent of leftover meatloaf. No thank you.

We returned for Christmas shopping, accompanied by B, who inherited the bargain hunting gene from both parents, and girlfriend, S. We were greeted by a herd of pastel ponies to match their outfits.

Then came the edible eye shadow.

What the heck? Was it designed to lick off of eyelids?  Reading the steps it was even less clear:

1. Mix and color

2. Fill

3. Eat

4. Wear

Next we found Glenda Glitterpoop, a Feisty Pet. A picture is worth a thousand words:

Among my actual purchases was a brand new (no trace of meatloaf scent) open box Instant Pot for $30. At our Christmas Wilbo Family Reunion C mentioned twice that he wished he had one. His wish came true and it was used five times over the course of the week. 

And this one made it under the tree. A perfect choice for four boys, ages 3-7.

 

 

I may have mentioned this in a prior post. I used to work with a wise woman, who would say “Everyone has a story. Some longer than others.” Complicated as it is, I’ll try to spare you length.

Sooo, I followed the tracking of our Serrano ham, all 17.5 lbs of it. Presumably it had originated in Spain, maybe over to China, then to Florida where my tracking notice began. Wait a minute, this ham is following our travels! USPS then showed its arrival in Fresno, California, nowhere near our usual California destination. And not anywhere close to our address. 

That’s where it stayed, delivered to an address in Fresno. Scam complete. Yes, this is an official category of mail fraud. A package is sent, not the expected weight, to a completely different address. Tracking is marked delivered, and the sender collects the payment from PayPal. Communicating with the post office supervisor, she confirmed that it weighed 8oz, originated in Florida, it’s terminus in Fresno.

It’s most definitely, not-so-shockingly,  a scham (a scam ham). There were too many signs along the way. A call, followed by a phone call to PayPal, escalated the case to “claim” status. They have contacted Mr. Kenneth Terrel, of Florida, for an explanation. He has some explaining to do. 

Our family holiday treat will now be a prime rib roast, bought at a local grocery store, and safely stowed in our freezer.

Not so long a story afterall. 

Most Canadians know the story of Dave and the Turkey, from the Vinyl Cafe, a radio show featuring sadly gone-too-soon storyteller, Stuart McLean.

 

Our family is developing its own true-to-life bizarre holiday food story. 

 

Background: The name Wilbo is a mash up of our family name with that of Daughter M’s husband’s family name, Wilson. Our son, as emcee of their wedding, told a Lord of the Rings-esque story of the formation of the Wilbo clan. And it worked for our eldest daughter, whose husband is a Williams and son’s girlfriend, also a Wilson, though not related. 

 

The story starts in Spain, while walking our various pilgrimage routes of the Camino de Santiago, where our primary portable protein was the country’s Serrano style cured ham, similar to prosciutto. No nitrates or nitrites, it is aged only in sea salt and required no refrigeration. We raved about it.

 

This year at Costco in Washington we saw whole legs of Iberico ham, on the bone, complete with knife and wooden stand for $99. A non-option for $549, was an upgrade to the cream of the crop, gourmet ham from pampered pigs that are fed acorns. 

 

Christmas will be a meeting of the Wilbo clan, I think 18 of us. C thought it would be a fun treat to have such a ham on the kitchen counter for all to partake. Everyone was looking forward to this unique part of the feast. Alas, when it came time to buy said ham, they were no longer available.

 

One of my children (name withheld) has always had a difficult time releasing expectations; his/her image of how something is supposed to be. When I texted the kids as to the change in plans, who do you think I heard from? Immediately. “Nooooooo…” It was central to his/her vision of this unique Christmas celebration.

 

Reminiscent of the Cabbage Patch doll, talking Alf or stuffed Barney searches of their toddlerhoods (prior to home computers, mind you), I tried to make this Christmas dream come true, this time via google. 

 

Searching for Serrano ham Spain, clicking on shopping, the following price points appeared: $187.95, $179.00, $349.85, $490. These are US dollars, so add a third for a realistic impact on our Christmas budget. Not. A. Chance.

 

Then I saw it. $79.95! Clicking on it took me to a site for a clothing store in China. 

Scrolling down, in addition to mens and ladies wear there was the ham! Several other food options were listed: crab cakes, sea bass, meat pies, St. Louis ribs and Napa Valley cold pressed sesame oil. 

 

I selected shipping and saw that it would be sent via the US postal service within five days. No way that was coming from China. I zoomed in on the image and determined the brand to be legitimate. Oh, what to do? A Spanish ham on a Chinese site delivered from a location in the US. 

 

We looked at each other, coming to the same conclusion, it’s worth the gamble. If it was a scam ham, we’d have PayPal behind us. So I clicked on “place order.” Our child would be happy.

 

This is where the ham story gets fishy. The PayPal receipt came from an account with a hotmail address made up of random numbers and letters. It also lists TWO hams with a subtotal of double the price and a final payment for one.

 

So that’s where we are. What do you think? Is it a ham scam? Goods from a stolen restaurant supplier? An overage of corporate gifts? A Chinese lookalike? Will a ham even be delivered? Might there in fact be two (35lbs!)?

 

Stay tuned. The tracking number says it will be delivered in time for Christmas.

It’s time for our art society’s 60th Anniversary art show. Anyone nearby, please come. Best part, it’s free and right in time for Christmas shopping.

I spent the afternoon matting eight paintings and stuffing cards in cellophane envelopes, which was a feat as we had our second shingles shot yesterday, with accompanying side effects. My teeth were chattering so hard I thought they might crack.

Living in the Pacific Northwest for over half my life, and well familiar with terms for rain, last night's weather report introduced me to a new concept, one that is due to hit within 12 hours. Meet the atmospheric river. National Geographic describes them as rivers in the sky, except that all that water, sometimes 20 times +/- the water contained in the Mississippi River, falls to the ground. 

Why was I unfamiliar with this term? Turns out it's a rebranding of our familiar pineapple expresses as they carry moisture from tropical areas toward the earth's poles. Tis the season to hunker down with soup.

We started with a treat: Bouillabaisse. I asked B if he wanted to head to the dock for some crabbing. Given the heavy weather we decided it was worth spending $16 on a large crab rather than buy bait to hang out in the cold wet with no guarantees. It lasted for two dinners and a lunch.

The instant pot was put to work for ham broth and lentil soup. Half the broth went into our favorite from Spain: Caldo Gallego, which is ham, leeks, white beans, potatoes and a mixture of greens – collards, mustard and turnip greens. 

Twelve minute Instant Pot beluga lentil soup was third in the line up of comfort food.

Combine soup with the great room fireplace located in the middle of everything, kitchen, living and dining areas and we're all set up for a weekend of storm watching. C says, along the coast people pay for this experience. I remind him that we did when we moved here. So worth it, I'm very thankful.

How much of a whirlwind was that? 63 days, six currencies, and 28 beds worth. We rode on trains, boats, planes, buses and cars and walked another 400+k of the Camino de Santiago.

Now it’s home sweet home, which was well taken care of by son, Bryant, who came to the realization that White Rock isn’t that far from civilization after all. That’s encouraging for the future, but for now we’ll stay put.

I left you last in New York. Next stop was Boston, where we met my sister. Her new Jack Russell puppy stole the show; five wriggling pounds of incredible cuteness.

Next stop was Bermuda where our ship was technically the tallest structure on the island(s).

other than the lighthouse:

My previous visit to Bermuda was 42 years ago and of course it’s changed. Half of the hotels have shut down or been repurposed, the bulk of the tourism being provided by cruise ships. Hamilton, the capitol city has lost its quaintness to growth and traffic not deterred by gas at $9.00US a gallon.

A day and a half at sea took us to the Bahamas, a return to our honeymoon, which then was affordable as we participated in a bartering network. We were booked in for a Windjammer cruise on a four masted schooner, not as romantic as it sounds. While we were queued for embarkation there was an announcement: Who here won this trip on a game show or through bartering? Enthusiastic hands raised, the second announcement followed: This isn’t your ship, please follow the staff member to yours. Reality set in as we were guided to something that resembled a single masted tug boat, providing us with an adventure that included bunk beds, cold water, and interesting guests: a pimp and a prostitute, two drug dealers and a Mormon family who travelled with half of their seven children each year. Makes you wonder about that barter system.

Back to this voyage, the next morning we arrived at Ft. Lauderdale where we were spat off the ship at an unreasonable hour – 8:00 am. A long 20 hours later we were home. And now we’re adjusting to life in our time zone.