Life's a Stitch

….or what I've learned from my mother's death, including, excuse the expression, some cold hard facts:

1. That expression in post title really happens.

2. The cost of medical treatment is high, the orthopedic surgeon's bill alone was $50,000.

3. Some cemeteries close for the winter, not based on temperature or the ability to prepare a grave, but on an arbitrary date, leaving families whose loved one rejected cremation, with no options other than arrangements for "storage." This was very upsetting.

4. My mother didn't have much but stuff in her one bedroom apartment seemed to multiply as we packed it up.

5. What on earth? Why did Mom keep a rotten wisdom tooth in a box of my father's military items? I wonder if she ever opened that box? My friend found pieces of toast in her mother's dresser.

6. The judgement of Solomon, otherwise known as "splitting the baby." When dividing my mother's belongings my husband accused my sister and I of such a crime when we agreed to split Mom's set of castanets. Neither of us will use castanets for their intended purpose, and they were a strong childhood memory – the last remnant of my mother's dancing career,  we took one each.

7. Division of property can be easy. It helps that my mother was fair and equal will-wise, not that she had much, but all that stuff in her apartment, some worthless but sentimental. We played a mixture of Mmm and Uck, a game we used to play as kids looking at food in McCall's magazines. Many of my sister's Mmmm's were my Ucks and vice versa. Most furniture, housewares and clothing were given away. Living 3000 miles away, what could I take? No liquids, 50 lbs of luggage allowed. Couldn't exactly stuff a wooden dresser into a 25" suitcase. Anybody in the New England area want to buy a Hoveround type scooter, used once?

8. Things mysteriously disappear or get misplaced, probably in the confusion of circumstances. How did I throw out the airline ziploc from my purse with all my meds, gels and liquids for my trip? How many times did we search for the keys in my mother's apartment?

9. People are very kind. Despite having to pay an exorbitant bereavement airfare to fly within 24 hours, Delta Airlines must be commended for their cooperation and sensitivity. When one connection was cancelled due to equipment mechanical difficulties, while others were having to wait a day, Delta, knowing my mother was dying, flew us to Boston and arranged for a limo and driver to take us to our destination. Same goes for Enterprise car rentals and Comfort Inn.

10. You can make it easy on your family. My sister and her husband, Chuck and I are talking of prearranging our funerals as our Christmas gifts to each other.

Thank you, thank you everyone, for your kind words. It all happened so quickly I'm still numb. I've joined the sad club of boomer aged women losing their mothers. Our father died in 1972, so long ago, I had forgotten what it was like.