Life's a Stitch

And more recently life’s a creative adventure with some travel thrown in.

475_hunt_laneLet’s say, due to unfortunate circumstances, you are uprooted from your family home late in your teens. You go to college and return to your town on breaks to stay with another family, who fortunately takes good care of you. At 20 you leave for good. You establish a career, a family of your own, but you are almost 4000 miles away from home. More than 30 years passes. With your own family raised you decide to go back and visit the place of your childhood, dragging along your husband of 25 years. That’s me and it’s exactly what I just did.

My life circumstances and decisions put me in a place where I never bumped into anyone with whom I went to high school, had no aunties or grandmas for child care emergencies, no cousins around for the kids to hang out with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not whining. We’re quite happy, but there are things we’ve missed out on.

What is is about those growing up years that seem a far larger a proportion of your life than the actual amount of years.  Is it that time feels like it passes more quickly now? 10 years, for example is now 20% of my life and back then it was 50%? Is it because those first 20 hold so much importance in your development?   

I know I’m not alone and I’d love to hear others’ stories of going home. Here’s what I found out:

1. The distances between places is much shorter than I remembered.

2. The buildings seem smaller.

3. The trees are way taller. When approaching my home town by car, there was what I remembered as a really steep hill from which you could see a park, a pond, the road ahead, a shopping center and some stores. Now, after living in the mountains of British Columbia, the hill was pathetically small, and there was no view at all due to the trees. It was like driving in an urban forest.

4. The traffic congestion is unbearable. This is 25 miles outside of New York City. There is constant traffic. You could conceivably buy a car and never get over 30mph.

5. If I had to listen to it on a daily basis, the recorded voice on the Long Island Railroad would drive me round the bend.

6. Oh the food, the food. There is no food like the food you grew up with. There will be an entire post on food : )

7. Good friends don’t change. Only in looks, a bit, but we’re supposed to. It would be more scary if our faces and bodies didn’t show years of experience. I spent time with six people I hadn’t seen in 33 years. What a thrill.

8. Towns, like people, age. Sometimes with less character. A place I remembered as quaint is now crumbly and stinky.

9. Two weeks is not enough time to catch up on half a lifetime. There were places we couldn’t get to, like my family’s cemetery plot, the house where my grandmother lived, the beach where I hung out with my friends.

10. Time to click the ruby slippers. Although the East Coast was my first home, the West Coast is my home now. So what if the sun sets on the wrong side of the street. There’s no place like home.

Finally, some recent photos: Playing tourist near my home town, my high school and the last shot is part of our hotel complex on Long Island. Believe it or not, it was less expensive than the nearest Comfort Inn.

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15 responses to “Can you never go home anymore?”

  1. Carole Avatar

    I only live 10 miles from where I grew up but when I drive past that house every once in a while it looks smaller than it did. It’s a very strange feeling.

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  2. Marina Avatar

    When I was still living in Perth (Australia), I stopped by in Singapore on my way home from Paris. It was horrible! The traffic! The heat and humidity! The crowds! I couldn’t connect with the people I grew up with 😦 Only positive things were the food and shopping, but they weren’t enough to make me stay. I left early.

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  3. Jane Avatar

    Did global warming happen on your trip or is that my photo of our home I took in febuary a few years back? hee! hee! It was great to finally have my big sister come see me and my family in New Hampshire for the frist time ever! Please don’t make it such a long time between visits . We had a blast and you are always welcome to come be our guests. Besides I want another 8 pound lobster feast!

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  4. Chris Avatar

    I was just thinking about this the other day. I actually haven’t been away from my hometown often, and even when I moved away I was still visiting family at home. But I do remember thinking the kid’s swimming pool my grandparent’s bought us was huge, until I pulled it out of their garage while in High School and put it together. What once was a struggle to step into was now a bunny hop! And I am sure I over exaggerate all the times my Dad would take us places. It probably wasn’t as often as I think. Childhood is something we did with wonder. All the discoveries held so much more meaning. Now we have the reality bites syndrome.

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  5. Dorothy Avatar

    I’m so glad you got the opportunity to go back. Trips down memory lane can be quite an experience. I get to go back to my hometown every few years. The population is only about 70, and hasn’t changed since I lived there. But it still seems even smaller. My parents still live there, but once they pass on I doubt I will go back. Kind of bittersweet.

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  6. Beth Avatar

    I’m an hour and a half from my mom’s house and I don’t much care to go back. I do it as seldom as possible. Unfortunately, my number came up this weekend. 😦 Maybe if I take enough knitting along…

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  7. Suzanne V. (Yarnhog) Avatar

    Isn’t it funny how life works out? I grew up desperate to leave San Diego and enter the “real world” of the East Coast and Europe. I left home at 16 and lived in Germany, Boston, Philadelphia, D.C., and Russia–and then I got married and moved to…San Diego! I’ve been living back in my hometown for 11 years. None of the people I grew up with live here now, and neither do any of my 4 siblings. But my parents are still here, and they’re very close to my kids. Living so close to them and having their help raising my kids has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. They may not have been perfect parents, but they’re fabulous grandparents.

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  8. Sharon Avatar

    Except for a semester of college, I’ve always lived in Michigan. I’ve been in Lansing all of my adult life, so it’s my kids who have all left home. I’m still not used to the fact that I don’t know where they are at 11 o’clock at night, I don’t know most of their friends anymore, and when they come to visit…it’s simply a visit. Oh well, I’m getting grandchildren out of the deal, so I’m not complaining. 🙂

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  9. Maureen Avatar

    Sounds like you had a wonderful time. What a great thing to reconnect with friends and family.
    Thanks so much for your comment, Li. It was such a sweet tug to my heart when you wished me many happy memories! (and I use the exclamation mark, not as a substitute for WOW, but to emphasize that I truly was touched by your words)

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  10. Criquette Avatar

    I didn’t move away from my hometown until I moved away as a young adult, so I’ve not had the experience of seeing things as an adult that I remembered as a child very much. I go back at least once a year but I always have a jolt at how much run-down, dirty, and trafficked it is since my last visit (and this was even before the hurricane). As always, you are so eloquent at putting into words the bittersweet feelings that going back to your childhood home evokes.

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  11. angelarae Avatar

    Tennessee Williams said that things that are of most importance to us in our memories, we remember as being much larger than they actually were. I’ve never forgotten that. I think it is true.
    Ang

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  12. sandy Avatar

    Our perceptions are so different when we are younger. It always fascinates me to see things through adult eyes that live in my heart of youth!
    xoxoxo

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  13. Julie Avatar

    Nice photos! We moved around a lot when I was a kid so picking a place to go home to would be the first difficulty. I suppose the place that most felt like home would be back in Lake Charles, Louisiana- a fair journey from up here on the East Coast north of Boston. It would be substantially changed since it’s been hit by a nasty hurricane since I was last there.
    I would greatly appreciate a copy of the Herringbone Rib scarf pattern. TIA.

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  14. Angie Avatar

    What an amazing journey. I have travelled, not too far, and ended up down the street from my Mom, 5 minutes from the farm my Dad sold to his brother, and my husband’s family farm, next door.
    We are surrounded by Grandmas and Aunties and Uncles.
    I say that in this town, if you play “6 degrees of separation”, it’s from me.

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  15. eyeleen Avatar

    How fun to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in such a long time. I’m here in the same town where I grew up, with most of my extended family within 10 miles. I take vacations to flee my family, but it’s nice to come home.

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